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Church Talks Spider-Man 3 Villains.

Published July 28, 2005 in Movie News
By Ryan Parsons | Image property of Fox Searchlight
Sideways Thomas Haden Church in Sideways
While watching The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night I had the unexpected prize of seeing Thomas Haden Church as the featured guest. While I first thought Jay Leno may have forgotten that one of the hottest subjects in film was who are the secret villains for Spider-Man 3, to my relief Leno was able to get the question after the first commercial.

Hayden Church Talks Spider-Man 3 Villain

I guess Columbia Pictures doesn't even want anybody hinting on what the next Spider-Man villain can be. After being asked by Leno on who Thomas Haden Church would play, Church figured out a tactful way to answer, or should I say avoid, the question. Church first tells Leno that he would tell him backstage, but then goes on to tell Leno, and the audience, what villains he won't be playing in Spider-Man 3. For this I have to applaud Thomas Hayden Church. He humorously found a way out of the question by drawing up some of his own villains that include 'The Period', 'Man of a 1000 Chins', 'Gorilla in a Man Suit', and a 'Centaffe'.

So, let's take a look at the villains who Church will NOT be playing.

The Period

'The Period' has villainous powers and is an enemy to Spider-Man. First, the character causes bad grammar for Spider-Man. With 'The Period' around, Spider-Man loses all dotted periods from written work including the dot underneath the question mark. Second, 'The Period' causes moodiness and cramps around women.

Man of a 1000 Chins

This guy is a big guy with, literally, one thousand folded chins. However, I cannot remember what weapons this villain used against Spider-Man.

Gorilla in a Man Suit

This villain looks exactly as he sounds. Walking on all fours, 'Gorilla in a Man Suit' is a strong villain that would sexually assault Spider-Man if given the chance.


Probably in some relation to a Liger, the Centaffe is half centipede [back end] and half Giraffe. This villainous character has extremely sharp teeth.

I know all of these Spider-Man villains sound crazy and Thomas Haden Church did admit he had created them some time after midnight. But, honestly, after The Tonight Show was over we were left not even one step closer to knowing who the real Spider-Man 3 villain(s) will be.

For other Spider-Man 3 villain scoops and more movie info, go to the Spider-Man 3 Movie Page.

Stay tuned for updates.

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Compiled By (Sources)
Ryan Parsons
Sources: Image property of Fox Searchlight

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