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The Unborn is Shocking

Published January 8, 2009 in Movie Reviews
By Fred Topel | Images property of Rogue Pictures
The Unborn PosterThe Unborn
Wow. Just wow. I mean, I expect January horror movies to be bad, but The Unborn is shocking. They couldn't even recruit an audience with low enough standards not to laugh this off the screen.

Review: The Unborn

This one doesn't even have the one take redo trick from The Invisible. It's just lame images and loud noises. First a creepy kid shows up. Then the creepy kid becomes a dog in a mask. Really?

Ever since Japanese Horror, it's become acceptable to just make weird stuff pop up. Don't we at least have standards for what's weird? David Lynch, that was weird. Monster faces are gross but nothing new.

The evil spirit's name is Jumby. Come on! That sounds like Jambi from Pee Wee's Playhouse! A glory hole unleashes sh*t bugs. Actually, that sounds cool but trust me it's not. They do a Jewish exorcism. Hmm, I'm helping the film more than I intended to right now.

Twisty head spider people look totally fake. The Exorcist did it three decades ago sold it. Other creatures do the same trick and also look stupid. They even make the Grudge croak which wasn't scary then either. <P> The film even teases sexuality. They show the heroine in her undies, and showering from behind but you know you're never going to see her. It's PG-13. They've completely forgotten what horror movies are all about.

The characters are like High School Musical girls, completely ill equipped to handle real life let alone the supernatural. That's no fault of the lovely actors, but it says something about who they're catering to.

It's just boring with people walking around talking, seeing things that are or aren't there. It's certainly not scary. The scariest thing in this movie is a speculum because that's real. None of the "freaky" stuff means anything.

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Compiled By (Sources)
Fred Topel
Sources: Images property of Rogue Pictures

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