By Fred Topel | Image property of 20th Century Fox
Hitman
Narrowing down the worst of this genre is a real challenge, but we can’t do a top 19. That would be against the rules.
Top 10 Worst Video Game Adaptations
10. DOA: Dead or Alive – This movie has the right tone with bikini babes kicking ass, but the fights suck and there’s way too much story.
9. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – Angelina Jolie looks great as Lara Croft but this movie was nonsense and even the action had no flow.
8. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within – They should have spent a little less time trying to make cartoons look like people and at least some time writing a story that mattered.
7. Hitman – This movie needs to specify that it takes place in London, ENGLAND and Moscow, RUSSIA. They cut the scene that takes place in Washington D.C., AMERICA.
6. House of the Dead – Uwe Boll’s first video game movie isn’t quite as offensive because it’s just a stupid horror movie. It’s still not worth watching though.
5. Wing Commander – Actually, there’s something kitchy about watching Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard fly spaceships, but this game was already passé when they made this movie.
4. Resident Evil: Apocalypse – They started so strong with the potential for a legitimate zombie franchise, but the sequel was a mess of bad effects, bad comic sidekicks and bad editing.
3. Doom – Technically, this movie captured the essence of the game: running through corridors shooting monsters. It just should have been clear early on that that does not count as a movie.
2. Super Mario Bros. – Perhaps the most lush video game mythology was completely bastardized in this ugly version. It’s so stupid.
1. Alone in the Dark – Uwe Boll’s shockingly worst film is therefore the worst video game movie ever. Not even related to the game, it is most laughable because it’s A-listers taking it seriously.
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