By Fred Topel | Image property of 20th Century Fox
All About Steve
Oh, romantic comedies opening with pop song montages. This time it’s Sandra Bullock working on crossword puzzles, writing and designing them. Then she’s walking alone, hustling across town, getting afraid of fake dogs.
Review: All About Steve
Of course, Mary Horowitz (Bullock) is meek and doesn’t date, because she’s so obsessed with her crossword work. She talks too much, and talks awkwardly so who could ever tell she’s totally hot? Even plastered with makeup and wearing boots that totally highlight her awesome legs. Then precocious kids analyze her financial and relationship prospects.
This isn’t even when the movie gets really bad. This is just the mediocre beginning that’s just like everything else. From here, it gets into McConaughey territory, worse than The Ugly Truth.
Mary loses her job for making a crossword puzzle all about her blind date, Steve. This presumes that nobody even spell checked, let alone read or looked at, the crossword puzzle before printing it. That’s just idiotic and still not funny.
This character is annoying. They try to have it both ways where she’s just weird enough that you could believe a guy might not want to do her, but it’s still Hollywood quirky. Then they try to make her really repulsive, but they’re afraid to go dark enough.
She’s The Cable Guy, only The Cable Guy was actually right. He was just dangerous. Mary is misguided at best, and should not persevere despite this. Preserving her innocence isn’t doing her any favors. She should get he sh*t together.
Why would you want to spend 90 minutes with this woman? It’s not like Danny McBride characters where they’re entertainingly awful. She’s ridiculous with no real point of view, just being the opposite of well-adjusted. I mean, bravo to Bullock for being ridiculous. She seems willing to be unlikeable. It’s the script that doesn’t have the balls to go make her despicable, or even treat her as her behavior warrants.
The film doesn’t even have the creativity to put their outrageous character in otherwise normal situations to see how she screws things up. It contrives a road trip adventure where every story her news team “boyfriend” covers is an invented stunt.
The end of the movie isn’t even about their relationship. It’s some danger situation where Mary has a minor revelation about herself, but does not address anything about the previous 70 minutes of plot. It’s just, “Time to end the screenplay. Here’s a big stunt that changes people’s perceptions, because we couldn’t do that with character or story.”
All About Steve is worse than The Lake House. At least there were points in The Lake House where one of the characters almost got a clue. Perhaps it is still better than Premonition. That was really egregious so I can’t say with 100% confidence that Steve is the lowest point.