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The Burning Plain is Typical Serious

Published September 17, 2009 in Movie Reviews
By Fred Topel | Image property of respective holders
The Burning PlainThe Burning Plain
Well, I knew exactly what I was getting with The Burning Plain. It’s another one of those serious movies where glamorous actors show how depressed and run down they can be. It’s typical Guillermo Ariaga and “serious” Charlize Theron.

Review: The Burning Plain

I’ll give it one thing though. This may be serious Charlize, but at least she still shows her boobies. She’s moping around cutting herself, contemplating suicide having feeling-less sex. But we see the boobies.

Young guys talk about bitches, sluts and F’ this and F’ you. That’s deep. Mourners get sh*t from their own family and the family of the adulteress who died with their father. Of course it’s even deeper when it’s all out of order. Oh, people aren’t what you think because you find something out that already happened when you made your judgments earlier.

Yeah, people are sad. Documenting it is nothing special. Uplifting it, now that’s what Hollywood does best. You can still tackle Monster’s Ball or Awakenings. We remember those. Even The Crossing Guard to a degree. There are still the differences between arthouse and studio but on those criteria of success, there are the dramas that resonate and the ones that just middle.

These depression movies don’t impact. No one remembers Snow Angels. Even The Hours is just the nose movie at best. It won awards but no one’s like, “Hey, remember The Hours?” Even Rachel Getting Married is over. She got her nomination, now it’s onto stuff that actually matters.

It’s like Interiors versus Crime and Punishment. Woody Allen gets serious with no hope, forget it. Woody Allen gets serious in a biting ethical dilemma, now that’s interesting.

<B>The Burning Plain</b> is like an emotional Final Destination about how many bad things can happen to people. It’s ridiculous but it’s no fun. Everyone stares off into space and says their lines, because they’re just way too deep to make eye contact.

Once you realize the timeline, come on, really. It’s so sanctimonious and just stupid. Ooh, it’s a cycle. Everyone makes the same mistakes. Ohhh, that’s why that happened. Ughhhhh.

It’s not as boring as Snow Angels or as irritating as Rachel Getting Married. The performances are a little better but it’s still all “look how deep we are.” Plus, the movie opens on a fire in the middle of a flatland, so you’ve got your burning plain right there.

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