By Ryan Parsons | Image property of 20th Century Fox.
20th Century Fox has sent over the first poster for Reno
911!: Miami and it is everything we expected it would be. What we didn't expect was a different take on how to write a synopsis.
Reno 911!: Miami One-Sheet
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press,
On behalf of the Reno Sheriff’s Department, we would like to address the film entitled Reno 911!: Miami. THIS FILM IS NOT ENDORSED IN ANY WAY BY THE RENO SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT.
We were told by the good people (pronounced: dirty liars) at Twentieth Century Fox that the documentary film about our trip to the National Police Convention in Miami Beach would be called: American Heroes: South Beach Edition.
Turns out this was classic Hollywood bull****. The film that has been made from the footage of us is an outrageous web of lies. The brave men and women of the Reno Sheriff’s Department have been edited together in a way that makes us look like we’re brain damaged. (We, aren’t!)
YES, there were some unfortunate events that took place during our time in Miami. Yes, people got hurt. Yes, property got destroyed. And yes, one nude person and some passers-by got parts of an exploded narwhale on them.
But... the truth is: we also did a lot of good. And, none of us is sure it was really a narwhale. It might have been a sperm whale, or some other kind of whale.
Reno 911!: Miami One-Sheet
We would also like to address the title of the film.
Reno 911!: Miami
WTF? That must be the stupidest title in the history of cinema. That’s like calling something Las Vegas Justice Minneapolis. Or Philadelphia Emergency St. Louis. IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.
If you understand the title, please call us, because we do not.
We urge you to tell the Fox and Twentieth Century Fox people to STOP THE LIES.
Your servant,
Lt. Jim Dangle, Reno Sheriff’s Department. Reno NV.
This poster would have been pretty solid, if it wasn't for the amazing posters available for Hot Fuzz.
Reno 911!: Miami opens to theatres on February 23rd, 2007.
Add to Heffee!
